daily whine

[lnr]

*sigh* I could just leave it at that really.

Not coping well at the moment with feelings of jealousy, despite there being no real reason to feel them. Can't work out whether occasional feelings of irritation at things people are saying are based on that or if I'd be irritated anyway. Bit of both I think. Feel like I'm not allowed to be cross about things almost, and don't feel I can talk about stuff properly here or anywhere. Not working well, not hungry, tired, weepy, and my own scales seem to think I'll probably stay the same or put on more weight this evening despite being good all week.

Just want to go hide under the duvet and not come out again until everything feels better, but I know in reality it doesn't actually help, and besides, I'm here and the duvet is at home. And no to be honest as much as they're appreciated a bunch of comments full of hugs and platitudes doesn't really help much either, and just makes me more cross at myself for whining. I just don't know what to do instead though.

Comments

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

I don't mind if you want to get publically annoyed about stuff when I'm around, though it'd be nice if you could warn me when you want to rant so I don't take it the wrong way.

[lnr]

It doesn't work like that though.

[naranek.livejournal.com]

Well, *hugs* and *platitudes* anyway :-). Practical things I find help: having people around. Going and doing/talking about something else with people you like - watching films helps, bizarrely, though it's not a social activity. Playing cooperative computer games. Stuff like that. Being alone is bad, and being at work worse, so you're probably at your lowest right now. Let me know if you have IM and want to rant pointlessly .. it'll save me from murdering the group that's stolen more than half my development effort and is currently playfully wasting it on pointless crap whilst we lose money.

Whining is a perfectly sensible form of catharsis. If you find yourself feeling guilty, you could set up a whine group? Then we could all volunteer to be on it and you might feel less guilty...

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

Er.. do you want to explain how it does work, or am I not helping by asking?

[lnr]

Work cunningly manages to combine being work *and* being alone at the moment, as Caroline is out. Not that she's the chattiest of company at times anyway, but still. At least I shall be in the pub at some point this evening hopefully, even if I'm not drinking, and it'll be nice to see simont's new flat.

I find myself not much liking the idea of having different groups for different things, though a self-selecting one might be better than one which I chose myself. I just have a bit of a horror of talking about things behind peoples backs, which does tend to leave me feeling like I can't talk about stuff sometimes. Must work on it somehow.

[lnr]

If I feel shit for even wanting to rant if you're getting on my nerves then warning you in advance that I'm about to rant about something isn't going to make me feel any better, and isn't going to stop you being hurt.

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

Hmm. OK.

I personally don't blame you for getting annoyed about stuff. I'm surprised you've been as un-angry as you have up till now, really; I don't think it's a personal comment about me, I think it's a response to the situation.

Would it help for me to sign off a particular channel for a bit, or for there to be a ranting channel, or something?

[lnr]

See that's why I don't want to talk about it. No, I don't want to make you go away OK.

[kitty-goth.livejournal.com]

> I just don't know what to do instead though.

I recommend the Steve Bell Approach:

1) Value Choice
2) Choose Value
3) Have Sex With Baboons

It's always worked for me....

[angua.livejournal.com]

I understand what you're feeling, it sounds horribly like the way my head is working atm as well :/

So far the only thing that I've found that helps is to tell myself that it's OK to feel what I feel and to whine and rant if I need to and it will pass. I've lightened my mood by listening to music as today and I'm going to go to the pub after class and sod the sins, sometimes having a life is more important.

[lnr]

*giggle* thankyou, but I don't think I know any baboons, and I'm not that fussed about sex at the moment anyway.

Have fun in the US BTW.

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

I didn't think you did; I'm a little more resilient than that at the moment. What I'm saying is that I'm stable enough to let you have some space this afternoon if you want it, without it seriously affecting me.

However, I'm also starting to think I'm doing more harm than good here by making an issue out of this..

[lnr]

I'll probably see you in the pub then (well and at class first). Though I'll be counting.

[j4.livejournal.com]

Okay, I hope this isn't going to be just platitudes, and I won't include any hugs if you don't want them, but:

You're allowed to be cross. You're allowed to whine. You're allowed to feel shit for no real reason (though -- ObPlatitude -- I wish I could fix it so that you didn't have to).

The whole point about feeling irrationally weepy and moody and suchlike is that you can't just sit down and say to people "Excuse me, people, but I'm going to be a bit cross today, so if you don't feel up to dealing with that then I suggest you keep out of the way". Because generally you don't realise that they're making you cross until they've already lit the blue touch-paper and failed to STAND WELL BACK. I do know how it feels, and I know that sometimes the most well-meaning comments just seem to irritate you so much that their very existence hinders your breathing. Rational response to people trying to help? Nope. Understandable response when everything feels topsy-turvy and your head's going round in unhappy little circles? Well, I think it's understandable.

And if all this falls into the category of irritating well-meaning nonsense, and it just makes you want to yell at me, then a) I'm sorry, and b) please feel free to yell. I'd rather know if I'm just pissing you off by trying to say anything at all.

[lnr]

Actually that does help a bit. I think my fuse is a little longer than yours maybe, mostly because I *hate* conflict and run away from it at all possible opportunities. Sometimes I think it might help if I did just shout at people though, instead of taking a second to think about it and then tying myself in knots trying not to say anything but still vent a bit.

Excuse me a moment while I go "aaarghhhhhhhh!!", there, that's a little better, normal service may resume at some point, but like the london underground I refuse to say when until I have a better idea myself ;-)

[damerell.livejournal.com]

Just as well you don't know any - otherwise think how disappointed they would be at your lack of interest!

[lnr]

And just because I am angsty and stuff I hope I don't have to point out that poly-doom isn't the only possible reason I might have to want to go argh at you sometimes. I just feel like I can't without it being interpreted as sheer jealousy though, as just demonstrated.

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

Er.. the only reason I interpreted that as jealousy was that you didn't tell me it wasn't. It's my default assumption, because it's the biggest reason I can think of that you'd get annoyed at me, particularly when I've been getting fluffy at R on channel. I'm afraid I need things explained to me in small words - I'm getting better at this communication lark but I'm not very good at mind-reading!

[lnr]

Look can we just drop this, I don't think it's helping.