daily whine

[lnr]

*sigh* I could just leave it at that really.

Not coping well at the moment with feelings of jealousy, despite there being no real reason to feel them. Can't work out whether occasional feelings of irritation at things people are saying are based on that or if I'd be irritated anyway. Bit of both I think. Feel like I'm not allowed to be cross about things almost, and don't feel I can talk about stuff properly here or anywhere. Not working well, not hungry, tired, weepy, and my own scales seem to think I'll probably stay the same or put on more weight this evening despite being good all week.

Just want to go hide under the duvet and not come out again until everything feels better, but I know in reality it doesn't actually help, and besides, I'm here and the duvet is at home. And no to be honest as much as they're appreciated a bunch of comments full of hugs and platitudes doesn't really help much either, and just makes me more cross at myself for whining. I just don't know what to do instead though.

Comments

[j4.livejournal.com]

Okay, I hope this isn't going to be just platitudes, and I won't include any hugs if you don't want them, but:

You're allowed to be cross. You're allowed to whine. You're allowed to feel shit for no real reason (though -- ObPlatitude -- I wish I could fix it so that you didn't have to).

The whole point about feeling irrationally weepy and moody and suchlike is that you can't just sit down and say to people "Excuse me, people, but I'm going to be a bit cross today, so if you don't feel up to dealing with that then I suggest you keep out of the way". Because generally you don't realise that they're making you cross until they've already lit the blue touch-paper and failed to STAND WELL BACK. I do know how it feels, and I know that sometimes the most well-meaning comments just seem to irritate you so much that their very existence hinders your breathing. Rational response to people trying to help? Nope. Understandable response when everything feels topsy-turvy and your head's going round in unhappy little circles? Well, I think it's understandable.

And if all this falls into the category of irritating well-meaning nonsense, and it just makes you want to yell at me, then a) I'm sorry, and b) please feel free to yell. I'd rather know if I'm just pissing you off by trying to say anything at all.

[lnr]

Actually that does help a bit. I think my fuse is a little longer than yours maybe, mostly because I *hate* conflict and run away from it at all possible opportunities. Sometimes I think it might help if I did just shout at people though, instead of taking a second to think about it and then tying myself in knots trying not to say anything but still vent a bit.

Excuse me a moment while I go "aaarghhhhhhhh!!", there, that's a little better, normal service may resume at some point, but like the london underground I refuse to say when until I have a better idea myself ;-)