*sigh*

[lnr]

Now I'm snapping at Richard for wanting to avoid August, and snapping at August for sounding slightly disappointed at me going along with it, and cross with myself more than anything. I don't know WTF I'm supposed to do that won't feel like I'm letting people down, and will actually make me feel happy too. And this is about the 5th thing I've written in the last few days and immediately wanted to delete without posting, but for once I'll resist.

Comments

[lnr]

*blush* You're too kind. I'm really not that nice.

I'm alternately angry at Richard and August for the things each of them have done that have contributed to the state things are in. Angry at anyone who criticises either of them for it though. Angry at myself for hurting either or both of them, and for blaming anyone else for a state obviously I *chose* to be in right?, and for letting it get in the way of friendships at a time when people need friends.

And I'm just tired of being sad and angry. But there isn't an answer. Just keep on hoping and waiting for it to get better, keep on gently pushing people to try and deal with their fears and to try and deal with my own, keep on trying to push the black bits away as much as possible and enjoy the good things.