Feeling better

[lnr]

Spent the afternoon round at August's, since we needed to talk after last night. Wanted to reassure him that though I'd definitely felt a bit jealous I wasn't at all cross at the way either him or Jan had been behaving, and that I was glad they'd had a good time. I'm not very good at dealing with feeling jealous like that I don't think, but I know it's my problem not theirs, and to be honest it's something I can deal with. I hope Jan understands too. If Richard hadn't been having a bad evening, and I hadn't misunderstood some of what it was about, I think I would have just smirked lots at the pair of them.

Anyway, we talked and we didn't talk, and then we did some more of both, and drank coffee and listened to music and enjoyed the sunshine and the breeze. And I think we might understand one another a little better for it, which is always a good thing.

Comments

[j4.livejournal.com]

I don't want to make you jealous. :-(

Half the time it really feels like we're competing with each other here, and I don't want to feel that, because it's a horrible feeling. And besides even if we were both after the same thing (which I'm not sure we are) there shouldn't be any need to compete. I love you, and I don't want to hurt you.

I wish for peace.

[lnr]

No I know you don't, and it's not at all your fault. I *shouldn't* feel jealous at all, because you're right there's no reason at all to compete. And I really don't want to make you feel bad about things just because I'm useless and feel jealous about something that doesn't *actually* affect anything at all. I hate that my own insecurities can hurt other people like that.

I love you too, you aren't hurting me, they're just little twinges that *will* go away with time (I know this from experience), and I hope I don't make you feel like you can't do anything that you would have done otherwise. 'Cos dammit I don't want to stop the two of you having a lot of fun together. *kiss*

[j4.livejournal.com]

I *shouldn't* feel jealous at all, because you're right there's no reason at all to compete. And I really don't want to make you feel bad about things just because I'm useless and feel jealous about something that doesn't *actually* affect anything at all. I hate that my own insecurities can hurt other people like that.

I'm saying every word of that right along with you. :-/

I love you too, you aren't hurting me, they're just little twinges that *will* go away with time (I know this from experience), and I hope I don't make you feel like you can't do anything that you would have done otherwise. 'Cos dammit I don't want to stop the two of you having a lot of fun together. *kiss*

This too, though. *hugs* *kiss*

I just hope everything settles down so that everybody gets what they want and nobody has to deal with stuff they don't want. WLOG, in fact. Not a very realistic thing to hope for but hey, we could get lucky.

[lnr]

I just hope everything settles down so that everybody gets what they want and nobody has to deal with stuff they don't want.

I hope so too. And I'm enough of an optimist to think it's not a completely unrealistic hope. Even if it takes time. And in the meantime I'll always be there with a hug for anyone who needs one. Although I do feel daft hugging myself sometimes.