Cross

[lnr]

One of the slightly daft things I do with the internet is SweetCollect which basically has a bunch of offers of various sorts, and gives you free sweets for each one you sign up to. As a result I have an email address or two which are basically just for signing up to random websites I have no real interest in at all, though I check the mailbox regularly to delete them all and spot more opportunities for freebies. Today I got a message from one of them, which looked like it came from an american opinion poll site, offering condolences and support as a result of yesterday's bombings. It actually made me cross enough to reply.

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From: "Anne Parks" <aparksint@decisionanalyst.com>
To: "Eleanor" <0eleanorbk.freedating@chiark.greenend.org.uk>
Subject: American Consumer Opinion® #4770910#
Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2005 18:24:25 -0500



Dear Eleanor:

As the terrible news of the blasts in London resonate in everyone's heart, we
send you our support, and hope that you and your family are well. In a world
which sees terrorism on the rise and everyone's life increasingly affected, we
believe that it is only by supporting and helping one another and by making
greater efforts to communicate across national divides that people can stop
the violence and find peace. We share your grief and pain, and we would like
to extend to you the good wishes of all American Consumer Opinion® panel
members around the globe in this difficult moment.

Sincerely,

Anne Parks
Vice President
American Consumer Opinion®

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From: "Eleanor" <0eleanorbk.freedating@chiark.greenend.org.uk>
To: "Anne Parks" <aparksint@decisionanalyst.com>
Subject: American Consumer Opinion® #4770910#
Date: Fri, 8 Jul 2005 09:12:56 +0100

While I am sure your message is meant with all the best intentions I am
afraid I find it incredibly disturbing to be offered condolences for
something which doesn't actually affect me, and from someone who doesn't
know me at all.  I really can't find words to express how completely
inappropriate it is.

As someone outside London, whose friends are all safe and well I am
amazed and slightly cross to be contacted in this way, but if I had been
caught in the chaos or if I or someone I knew had been injured I imagine
I would be extremely angry to receive such a patronising message of
sympathy with such little consideration of the facts.

Despite the horror of those who were caught in it, and the media fears
that it would be much worse, this is quite a small incident and to make
such a fuss about it is simply to glorify the terrorists involved.

Yours,

Eleanor Blair

---

It doesn't seem to have helped much as I'm still cross, and I don't think I've done a very good job of explaining why. Seeing a black ribbon icon on Google UK today reminded me of it and made me more annoyed, even if it does link to useful friends and family contact details.

In other news we just had a security alert at work: "suspicious package on the office floor, could staff and students please avoid this area". So we went and had coffee upstairs. Unfortunately they worked it out quickly so we had to come back. Julia said she saw a large suitcase sitting by the ladies loos earlier so it was probably that. Wonder how long places will continue to be more paranoid. Not that it was very useful in terms of evacuation, no-one who actually works on our floor was quite sure what we were supposed to do.

Oh and if you fancy free sweets yourself let me know, I get a bonus sweet for every friend who signs up :-)

Comments

[j4.livejournal.com]

Eurgh. I guess that's a suitably saccharine message to come from a company that deals in confectionery...!

eBay have an official message (http://www2.ebay.com/aw/uk/200507.shtml#2005-07-07161059) basically saying (and I paraphrase) "If somebody's being slow to reply to you, give them the benefit of the doubt & try to get in touch with them before leaving negative feedback because they might have been bombed". Which is fair enough but it does seem to me that it might be a nice idea to give people the benefit of the doubt anyway. Perhaps it's naive of me but I can't help wondering whether if people were as considerate to each other normally as they are in the wake of a huge tragedy, there might be fewer huge tragedies.

[hsenag.livejournal.com]

Particularly since in 4 days as many people will be killed on the roads in the UK as died yesterday in the bombings.

[boyofbadgers.livejournal.com]

Oh fuck off. I am absolutely sick of people saying this. I KNOW but it doesn't help when one of your friends is still missing.

[lnr]

Well said.

I hope they just haven't realised people are worrying and will be in touch soon.

[boyofbadgers.livejournal.com]

We were hoping that but things are looking bleak. Liz left the house in Archway she shares with Rob (her boyfriend) to go to work near Russell Square yesterday morning and no one has heard from her since. People have been in touch with Rob last night and again this morning, and he's just sitting by the phone waiting.

[lnr]

Arse. Not much I can say really.

[hsenag.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry (both for your friend being missing and for accidentally being insensitive).

[j4.livejournal.com]

Do you actually have figures for that, or is it just a guesstimate? (I don't doubt the order of magnitude, but would be interested to know.)

[addedentry.livejournal.com]

There were 3,508 deaths in road accidents in 2003, according to the Department for Transport statistics (http://www.dft.gov.uk/stellent/groups/dft_control/documents/contentservertemplate/dft_index.hcst?n=11888&l=4). That works out at a rate of 38 deaths every 4 days.

It's the same number. But it's very different.

[j4.livejournal.com]

It's the same number. But it's very different.

Yes -- many of those RTA deaths will have been reasonably preventable by some of the individuals involved (in a way that being killed in a terrorist attack really isn't).

But it's always different if somebody you know is involved.

[senji.livejournal.com]

2003 was an average of about 10 road fatalities a day in the UK (I had the figures yesterday, but don't have the URL to hand).

[lnr]

If it were from SweetCollect themselves I'd stop using them. It's just some random American site I signed up to through them.

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

we believe that it is only by supporting and helping one another and by making greater efforts to communicate across national divides that people can stop the violence and find peace. We share your grief and pain

ARGH American therapy-junkie mentality. "If we're all too dumb and hysterical to cope, you must be too and we'll just tell you you're In Denial if you disagree." The Google ribbon annoyed the hell out of me too.

FWIW I think you put it very well, though.

[satanicsocks.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I kinda liked the Google ribbon. A nice, understated way of tacitly saying what everyone else is saying, plus, they have ribbons/doodles for other things too, at various points.

[noradre.livejournal.com]

I have to admit I instinctively recoiled from the Google ribbon when I saw it and felt a little irritated by it. Not entirely sure why cos I don't really think it's that terrible for one lot of humans to be upset and concerned for another lot of humans and at least want to offer condolences.

I suppose there's always the suspicion that it's not sincere, that it's more about them making sure that everyone sees how much they deeply, deeply, care because that's just great for their commercial image rather than because they do actually give a flying one.

[satanicsocks.livejournal.com]

I suppose there's always the suspicion that it's not sincere, that it's more about them making sure that everyone sees how much they deeply, deeply, care because that's just great for their commercial image rather than because they do actually give a flying one.

That's why really long expressions of meaningless condolence get on my tits. It's like, "I can say the most about how sorry I am!!! I'm more considerate than you!!!" It's not a competition. Sometimes short and sweet is better.

[noradre.livejournal.com]

I was going to say whatever you do don't look here london_hurts but actually some of it's so bad it's funny. I like the 'pray' pictures best so far.

[hsenag.livejournal.com]

Google have a long history of using some kind of appropriate logo on "special" days, so I think assuming that this is sincere is reasonable. Not so convinced about the email lnr quotes, though.

[missjudas.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm just really gullible, but I thought it was quite sweet. (No pun intended). Particularly since Americans (generally) deal with the whole terrorism thing much differently from the British (who are being terribly British about it).

But that doesn't take away from the fact that it upset you, lnr.