Oh sod

[lnr]

Sometimes things just seem so pointless it just makes me want to cry, so I am. I hate my job, and I hate sitting here not working feeling guilty about it but not able to do anything to make it better. And I hate it when people I care about fall out on irc channels and then go off in a huff and won't even talk to me when I send them hugs. And I hate feeling that really Richard would be much happier just going off and being with Vicky and then I wouldn't have to feel stuck in the middle any more because there wouldn't be any middle.

I don't feel like I'm doing any good to anyone at all at the moment, and why should anyone want to spend time with me if I feel like this?

[No longer friends-only]

Comments

[angua.livejournal.com]

*hugs* you can join me over in the corner in tears if you like. I can't really offer any words of wisdom but if anyone else gives you any can you pass them on to me ;)

For some light relief I'm sanding the spare room at Fi's house this evening if you want to give us a hand and have a rant.

[kaet.livejournal.com]

I know it probably doesn't help much, but ~hugs~.

[meirion.livejournal.com]

now i'm feeling guilty for having helped persuade you to apply for the fscking job in the first place. fuckfuckfuckfuck. (and i hate sitting here not working, too, but when i've got nothing to do how can i do anything ?)

sorry, *hugs*. i think i sort of know how you feel though.

-m-

[lnr]

No, no, the job would be fine if I were in a state to cope with, it's the interaction of the job and my state of mind that's the problem. If I weren't so crap I'd find something to do instead of being bored and guilty through having nothing to do. It is partly their fault but only peripherally, I ought to be able to look after myself a bit at my age! and they have been very snowed under with stuff lately. I feel like they deserve better than me though a lot :-/

[sesquipedality.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Sounds to me very much like your depression is making everything seem much less copeable with than it is. It might help to try to analyse these statements logically to see how likely it is they are true. It might not. Either way, know that I value you as a friend, wish you well, and I'm here if you need to get away for an evening or something. Take care.

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

Please do know that you're not alone. Tomorrow will be a better day and hopefully it will be better enough that it's actually good.

I wish you a comforting evening!

[emperor]

*hugs*

It's probably not much consolation, but I know what you mean about hating the day job. I think it's at least partly the depression talking, but you know that...

[soubrette.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Been through (some of) that as well. Depression v. not fun. Hope you feel better soon -- hope that doesn't sound too trite :-/

[daneel-olivaw.livejournal.com]

*hugs* and more *hugs*

There've been plenty of sensible suggestions already made, so I won't bother repeating them (I'm pretty bad at digging myself out of my own moods, so I doubt I could say anything better!). I hope you do better today, and I (like the rest of the posters, no doubt) am happy to talk/email/etc if that would help.

Still more *hugs*

[sphyg.livejournal.com]

Even more hugs. Still, it could be worse.