Feelings

[lnr]

Last week I made a list of all the things that were making me feel bad about myself. It came to 3 sides of A4 (in large handwriting) and had wibbles within the subcategories of Work, Studying, Driving, Money, Weight, Relationships, Around the house, Socially and Disorganisation. Today I typed it up, and added to a couple of bits of it. I think in some ways it should help, and that it might be useful when talking to the psychiatrist at Addies (if I ever get another appt) but having done it I'm not feeling terribly perky.

I can't think of nearly as many things which make me feel good about myself. The hair makes me smile when I look in the mirror. Richard is lovely, and I have lots of good friends. I've been enjoying all the books I've been reading. I have a nice family, and Richard's family are lovely too. And the weather is wonderful. It's a longer list than I thought once I put my mind to it.

I think I'm going to go sit in the garden again for a bit.

Comments

[skorpionuk.livejournal.com]

I guess in one sense it's useful having a list of bad things... but I think most people are all too aware of their faults as it is, and as you say, it never makes you feel better to think about it.

I'm glad you thought of good things, too. One thing I keep meaning to do but don't is to think of good things every day and note them down. Either good things that happen, or good things about yourself. It's a much better way (apparently) towards being happy with yourself - I guess it makes sense to think things like, "today I was a little better at x", than "I'm so crap, I still can't do x perfectly".

Of course I hardly know you at all, but nevertheless, and if it helps, when I met you you seemed a friendly, fun, and attractive person, and I certainly wouldn't mind running into you again sometime.

*hugs*
Bec.

[sampiano.livejournal.com]

Hey, if you feel like talking about things a little, then e-mail me. I've been feeling somewhat down recently too, and maybe talking will do us both some good.

[atreic.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm not sure if it makes you feel good about yourself, but you make me feel happier when I see you. Which I haven't done for ages. :-( Here's to after the Exams, and the veizla...

vibes

[jbmurray.livejournal.com]

Vibes to ya, lnr. And do work on that list of good things. Add to the list that your posts to LJ and the Other Place are engaging and amusing.

[juggzy.livejournal.com]

I hope you aren't making a list of what you percieve as faults, because you don't have any, and if you do, so what, only irritating people are perfect.

You might want to list the situations that make you feel bad, and then try and find out what they have in common - too much pressure to conform or not conform, bulling workmates or friends, whatever.

[mtbc100.livejournal.com]

FWIW it seems to me that you're worth having around. (-:

The enumeration of things that contribute to your moods is, I think, generally a pretty good idea. A good step to figuring out how to deal with stuff is to get a good handle on the stuff itself! Just dragging it up from elsewhere to intellectual, conscious treatment helps improve things, I find.

[mhk.livejournal.com]

I think I read somewhere that misery can last, as a state, for ages while pleasures come in defined pieces. Depressingly, this implies that you have to go on looking for new pleasures while the bad bits will stay without any maintenance work. It may be a bit discouraging to realise that the longer 'bad' list is perhaps to be expected, but it does rather seem as if no one else dislikes you for all those bad bits and that now that you have got all that stuff out of your brain and onto a piece of paper, it could now be filed somewhere well out of sight. But not thrown away: you've done a lot of work on it.

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

I have lots of good friends

You've got the friends you deserve.

[burkesworks.livejournal.com]

Chin up Eleanor, I too have suffered from depression in the past as you're probably aware. Anyway... the hair certainly makes me smile, as do your posts (not to mention the recipes and book reviews!) And I can't think of many nicer places to be than Cambridge in the sunshine, surrounded by what sounds like a bunch of really good, interesting, intelligent people. And badgers.
{{{{{{{lnr}}}}}}}

[rmc28]

I always enjoy spending time with you, and you tend to make me smile, both in real life and when reading your journal.