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lnrAgreed with me that I appear to be suffering from mild depression, prescribed low dose anti-depressants (20mg Fluoxitine 1 a day) and suggested I come back in a fortnight by which point they should hopefully be beginning to work. Also suggested I think carefully about sick leave.
Told my immediate colleague/boss and boss above that about it by email and arranged to work from home for the rest of today. They said they'd noticed something was affecting my work and sounded at least glad that they knew what the problem was now. They don't think working from home is a good idea in general though: better to either be in the office or to take real sick leave. And they have said not to worry about how snowed under we are at the moment and both have some experience of depression in either themselves or their partner so that might help.
Incidentally I talked about my partner at the docs and was amused that he did stop to ask if said partner was male before continuing to refer to him as "he". Glossed over polyness, but mentioned that relationship was having an complicated awkward patch at the moment though not in any danger of ending. Also mentioned work, MSc, rjk's lack of job and the feeling that I'm supposed to be OK and be the supportive one. He asked about appetite (I think it may be a little lower, but not a huge amount) and sleep (no, I'm not having trouble sleeping really, though I am exhausted the only trouble sleeping has been in talking until it's very late).
The pills have a fairly hairy sounding set of possible side effects, but most medecines do to be honest. Was amused to see they might cause a small amount of weight loss :-) They recommend not drinking, as they can cause drowsiness on their own and this is more likely/more severe with alcohol. To be honest I drink so little at the moment due to the diet that it won't be too hard to avoid.
Still feeling groggy from my cold, and have a slight headache on and off. Plus still knackered: had an hour's kip after lunch. And I've been feeling slightly nauseus after eating for a couple of days now. Feeling less completely overpowered by stuff now. Despite the fact the person I mailed at APU has mailed me back the singularly helpful response "Would you like me to leave a couple of sample projects with Connie, from previous years?". Well, it *might* help, but it doesn't address most of the concerns I had. Oh well.
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Told my immediate colleague/boss and boss above that about it by email and arranged to work from home for the rest of today. They said they'd noticed something was affecting my work and sounded at least glad that they knew what the problem was now. They don't think working from home is a good idea in general though: better to either be in the office or to take real sick leave. And they have said not to worry about how snowed under we are at the moment and both have some experience of depression in either themselves or their partner so that might help.
Incidentally I talked about my partner at the docs and was amused that he did stop to ask if said partner was male before continuing to refer to him as "he". Glossed over polyness, but mentioned that relationship was having an complicated awkward patch at the moment though not in any danger of ending. Also mentioned work, MSc, rjk's lack of job and the feeling that I'm supposed to be OK and be the supportive one. He asked about appetite (I think it may be a little lower, but not a huge amount) and sleep (no, I'm not having trouble sleeping really, though I am exhausted the only trouble sleeping has been in talking until it's very late).
The pills have a fairly hairy sounding set of possible side effects, but most medecines do to be honest. Was amused to see they might cause a small amount of weight loss :-) They recommend not drinking, as they can cause drowsiness on their own and this is more likely/more severe with alcohol. To be honest I drink so little at the moment due to the diet that it won't be too hard to avoid.
Still feeling groggy from my cold, and have a slight headache on and off. Plus still knackered: had an hour's kip after lunch. And I've been feeling slightly nauseus after eating for a couple of days now. Feeling less completely overpowered by stuff now. Despite the fact the person I mailed at APU has mailed me back the singularly helpful response "Would you like me to leave a couple of sample projects with Connie, from previous years?". Well, it *might* help, but it doesn't address most of the concerns I had. Oh well.
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no subject
Date: 2002-09-23 09:13 am (UTC)We've got a handy book at home - the BMA medicine guide which has lots of useful info on various drugs et al which can be prescribed. Give us a shout if you'd like us to look up the drug in it.
no subject
Date: 2002-09-23 10:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-09-23 12:26 pm (UTC)You do seem to have everything piling up at once; looking back over your livejournal, one can see it building since at least the end of July. I think you've caught it in time, you're doing all the right things, and you'll manage to get through it. Take care of yourself, and keep talking to people. I hope you feel better soon.
no subject
Date: 2002-09-23 01:16 pm (UTC)Nothing to add that hasn't been said, but still thinking of you all the same.
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Date: 2002-09-23 02:13 pm (UTC)I'd definitely recommend a couple of weeks sick leave. I did this during my time at FTV when everything just got on top of me, and it did help a lot, giving the time and space to get myself back on the rails.
If you don't find the fluroxetine is helping, then I'd recommend trying Venlafaxine (Efexor - a sort of combined SSRI and SNRI (norepinephrine)) which also seems to have good results. The most common observed side effect of venlafaxine seems to be night sweats (at least in women - not sure if this is true for the blokes).
Since your depression appears at least partly reactive in nature, I'd suggest you consider speaking to a counsellor - not because they can solve anything, but because it's a good way to sort out how *you* feel and find ways of dealing with it. I realise a lot of people have negative experience of counselling and prefer to rely on friends, but I've found that the objectivity of a complete stranger can be a very helpful tool in this sort of situation. You'd have to feel comfortable doing that for that option to make sense, of course.
Above all, I'd say with depression that there's a temptation to think that the pills do the work, and that doctors often encourage this. From my experience, it's far more helpful as viewing the pills as a facilitator, giving you the capacity to deal with your situation. (This advice applies less for endogenous depression caused by an imbalance in brain chemistry rather than reaction to life events, of course.)
Finally, just to say that if you need someone to vent to, to have a chat with, or just to go out and do something fun with, I'm here. You've been a good friend to me, and if there's anything I can do in return, I'd be happy to do it. Take care, and get well.
no subject
Date: 2002-09-23 04:20 pm (UTC)The doctor did say he just thought the drugs might *help* what would probably be a gradual recovery anyway, so it sounds like he as the approach you prefer, also noted that if they weren't helping they could try larger doses or a different drug, and that different things work for different people. He did emphasise the fact it wasn't a miracle cure.
I'm coming round to the idea of sick leave. Certainly since my bosses seemed pretty positive about it. The thought of going into work tomorrow is making me pretty anxious, but I think I would like to talk to them about it in person at some point anyway, so maybe I'll end up just doing that then running away. We'll see. I don't want to feel like I'm running away from my job though, IYSWIM.
I did try seeing a counsellor as an undergrad, and it may just have been the case that she was a particularly useless one but it didn't work very well for me, and I did find that it was easier to talk to friends about the same things. If nothing else I have usenet as my counsellor, though I know better than to take any advice from it ;-) I shalln't rule it out completely, but I fon't think it's for me right now.
Anyway thanks, it's good to hear about other people's perspectives on these things, I think at the moment I'm just taking things as they come and hanging on. My main aim in trying to do something about it *now* is to stop me making such a mess of "coping" on my own as I did as a student. Yes, I coped, and came through it all OK, but I did mess up my degree in the process and take rather longer about it than I might have done if I'd tried to do something about it. Or maybe it would have been much the same. Worth a try anyway.
Thanks everyone else for support too, much appreciated.
no subject
Date: 2002-09-23 04:23 pm (UTC)Er, only one eye at that, since he only has the one. Slightly disconcerting. I wonder what the etiquette is on commenting on these things. I just wonder if he ever considered having a glass one. Oh well, I probably won't ask :-)
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Date: 2002-09-23 04:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-09-23 04:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-09-24 05:26 pm (UTC)