Wibble

[lnr]

Struggling a little at the moment. One of the things that's weighing on me is my MSc dissertation, which I ought to be working away on by now but still don't even have any ideas for. I decided last night though that if I'm not beginning to get my head round it and get something done by the end of the weekend then I'll get in touch with one of my lecturers at APU and see if they can help. Jo Stanley probably, as she was the one doing most of the organising of dissertations in the first place and she seems nice. Hopefully she's not too busy.

I've also got a friend who I've been having trouble dealing with over most of the last year really. He's in a pretty bad way, and we initially fell out over something stupid and have been trying to patch stuff up since, though not really succeeding. We had a long talk a couple of weeks back, and I basically promised to try harder to make this work, though I'm still not sure what to do. But since then I've been feeling less and less able to cope with *anything*. I tried to explain this, but they were angry at me for being useless and sent an enormous email shouting at me, although they did warn me at the top that this was what it was, which was fairly considerate. Unfortunately has made me even *less* able to even talk to them never mind try and patch up a friendship. To me it seems daft when someone isn't coping to do something which looks like it's trying deliberately to make it even less possible to continue. I wonder if it's unconsciously a way of sabotaging the whole thing. But basically I think it is just that they can't cope either. And I don't know what to do.

They say that they're just going to avoid me completely if they have to, and it's tempting just to take them up on it at the moment because I'm finding this so hard and I don't think continually agonising over it is doing them any good either. But since in their mind that also means cutting themselves off from all mutual friends that doesn't seem very fair. And equally if they don't it just means that some of the friends in question will be left having to be even more supportive and I don't think they can cope either.

I just wish everything could be happy and fluffy. I hate seeing so many of my friends being so down at the moment, and I hate *being* down too, especially as I worry that it'll make Richard feel down too. I ought to be supporting him more at the moment rather than needing cheering up myself. But whatever, I definitely spy the roots of depression here in a lot of ways, even if it is basically in reaction to things like Richard being out of work for so long. I'm going to keep an eye on it, and if it's not beginning to improve and I'm still feeling this paralyzed in a few week's time I'm going to go see my doctor about it. I may have coped more or less with being depressed a few years back and got out the other side of it more or less intact but I did completely mess up my degree and at least one good relationship in the process and I don't want to risk being that bad again.

[No longer friends-only]

Comments

Highly imaginative and novel response

[simont]

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Re: Highly imaginative and novel response

[lnr]

This is my favourite silly one:

          |  \ \ | |/ /
          |  |\ `' ' /
          |  ;'aorta \      / , pulmonary
          | ;    _,   |    / / ,  arteries
 superior | |   (  `-.;_,-' '-' , vena cava
          | `,   `-._       _,-'_
          |,-`.    `.)    ,

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<p>This is my favourite silly one: <pre> | \ \ | |/ / | |\ `' ' / | ;'aorta \ / , pulmonary | ; _, | / / , arteries superior | | ( `-.;_,-' '-' , vena cava | `, `-._ _,-'_ |,-`. `.) ,<_,-'_, pulmonary ,' `. / ,' `;-' _, veins ; `./ /`, \-' | right / | ;\ |\ | atrium ;_,._|_, `, ' \ | \ \ ` `, ` __ ` \ left ;, \ ,' ` \, ventricle \_( ;, ;; | \ `;, ;; inferior | |`. `;;, ;' vena cava | | `-. ;;;;,;' | | |`-.._ ,;;;;;' | | | | ``';;;' FL aorta </pre>

[angua.livejournal.com]

*hug*

You know I'm here if you want to wibble irl :)

Being sent a shouty mail could be a way of coping. After N dumped me, every time I saw him even though I wanted to be calm and polite I ended up shouting, and it wasn't just because of his actions.. I was shouting because of mine too (if that makes sense).

I actually found a complete break for a fortnight (although this didn't mean avoiding mutual friends) helped so much. A bit of distance can sometimes be good.

I dunno.. but if you need me I'm here.

[lnr]

Thanks, it's appreciated.

[simonb.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

WRT your friend it could be a good idea to give them some space for a while, especially if they've reacted to being told that you're feeling useless by just shouting back at you. As you say, that reaction could be due to them feeling useless or that they are unable to cope as well.

WRT feeling depressed there is always the option of using St. John's Wort, although its not a great idea if you're using the pill.

[lnr]

I think part of the difficulty is that they'e *had* a lot of space. We've largely not seen each other except at a couple of parties which were awkward and for that long talk I mentioned. So I'm not sure more space is the right answer. But thanks anyway, I know it's hard to give advice when you're missing half the context but it's hard to give context for a whole year's worth of faffing in one depressed wibble.

Given I am on the pill, and probably anyway to be honest, I think I'd rather see what my doctor thinks. I know ADs aren't always a miracle cure, and can sometimes have nasty effects, but I think if I keep an eye out for them and make sure my doctor is happy with me stopping taking them if I have problems then it's probably worth giving it a try. My blood pressure's borderline high anyway, so I don't want to take anything which I don't really understand without doctor's advice.

[simonb.livejournal.com]

WRT the friend I can't do much more than *hugs* :(

WRT AD stuff, as you're on the pill and have other issues (i.e. borderline high blood pressure) its probably best if you see a doctor about this. However if they do prescribe you drugs for it, you can always look up the drugs used in our handy BMI book... not that doctors have a bad reputation with prescribing ADs for too long or which interact with other drugs.... according to a friend I knew at Uni he wouldn't trust doctors with drugs as they only had a single term doing pharmacology and really didn't understand WTF they were doing with drugs, especially when it comes to drug interaction. Thankfully pharmasists do a full five years doing nothing but drugs, drug interaction, etc which is why I tend to prefer the advice of the pharmasists when it comes drugs.

[emperor]

*hug*

I'm not sure what to suggest wrt the friend in question. ISWYM about what they say about mutual friends making your life harder.

But yes, do see a quack if things don't improve. And remember the Foundation always has a shoulder for you to cry on, should you need it.

[lnr]

ISWYM about what they say about mutual friends making your life harder.

I'm not sure I follow that to be honest. Let me try bracketing it:

"ISWYM about (what they say about mutual friends) making your life harder." Ie that the fact they want to cut themselves off from mutual friends makes it difficult for me, because I don't want to cut them off from other friends just because we're not getting on? To be honest it just makes me feel bad, rather than making things much more difficult. I think it's their decision and I'm not going to stop them from being friends with other people just because they fall out with me. It only feels a little like it will be my fault per se.

[emperor]

Yes.

[lnr]

To be fair reading their mail again it doesn't sound that angry. Despite them warning me that it was. I don't find myself any more capable of answering it though. I still don't know what they want me to *do*, and as it is I can't do anything.

I think I just have to mail them and explain this though. I don't know if it'll help but hiding from it isn't going to help either.

[taimatsu]

*HUG*

Not much else I can say, really :(