lnr | Saga continues

Around lunchtime unbeatable mailed rjk, TNT had rung them (after the time of my call to TNT) and said we hadn't been in, so unbeatable wanted us to phone and arrange redelivery. Guy by mail said they'd tried all Tuesday to find out where it had got to but TNT's order tracking didn't have a clue. Girl on phone when I rang seemed to have no knowledge of this at all and just wanted me to give a time when they could try again. So I shall be home tomorrow and we shall see if it arrives. No idea now if it's TNT or unbeatable who are to blame for the mess so far.

Feeling more and more broken and don't know what to do about it. Have asked Paul to try find me some more work, as sitting staring at screen doing nothing and feeling guilty about it probably doesn't help. Heard nothing from contact at APU since I mailed her with dissertation proposal last week. Diet fucked. Keeping trying to get back to it and failing. And August still can't talk to me it seems. And no matter how much I can understand why it's impossible for him that doesn't make it any easier. I hurt and I hurt and I hurt.

Update: Big thanks to Paul for taking me out for a coffee and just having a long and wibbly conversation mostly about nothing much of importance. Feel a lot less lost at sea again. I think I might take a leaf out of

rmc28's book though and ring my doctor tomorrow and try get an appointment. Happy pills might not fix anything, but maybe they'll take the edge of things and make me able to cope a bit better. (Thanks Emp for the hug too).