Kitties

[lnr]

If I were a cat, I would be a… Snow Leopard! The Snow Leopard (Uncia uncia) is a gorgeous spotted feline with long fluffy fur who, as the name implies, calls the snowy regions of Asia its home. As a Snow Leopard, you are a very sentimental creature. You have certain friends, places, and routines that are special to you. You tend not to be loud or outgoing, preferring to sit back and observe life as it happens around you.

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Fed up of being fed up now. RJK being lovely. Doesn't make it go away though. It's OK to know I've got to give it time but how long? Even the electrician in the dept was asking if I was OK today, and I only know him to say hi in the corridor.

Update: Damn, and now I know he's back (posting to usenet) and I have new mail and I'm scared even to see who it's from never mind read it. I'm sick of a week of peering at phones wondering if he's going to say anything in response to a texted hug. I'm sick of feeling like I'm not allowed to miss him, but I do feel like it's unfair to expect anything of him when I'm the one who did the leaving in the fire swamp. Fed up of feeling guilty for loving someone and not being able to stop. Fed up of feeling so bad I can't work or sleep and I'm not convinced about eating. Fed up of the headaches and the stomach feeling sick too. Sick of keeping it all inside because I don't want to hurt anyone else. I don't want to hurt any more.