I get knocked down...
Jul. 2nd, 2003 08:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lnr... but I get up again. August cancelled dinner tonight (he has too mcuh work to do, and needs to work late on it) and then Jan was being horribly upset on irc in a way I couldn't really cope with, because it felt too much like my fault, and the two together left me feeling pretty low again. Got lots of work done though and then made myself get back on irc, where Jan really cheered me up lots. Would have liked to cheer her lots too, I hope it helped to talk even if I didn't have any more good ideas for her than she does for me. Still I do feel positive at the moment, even if I can't work out how it's all going to work.
Popped into Paul's office to say hi and grumble about the weather and somehow stayed and gossipped for over an hour. How did that happen? I mean it's not 20 years but still, sometimes these things creep up on you. Was a nice chat anyway, and cheered me up more. Still boggling at meirion's job news. Keep meaning to give him a hug, but being too shy to do so in person, so erm *hugs*. Feel free to come and collect at some point or I'll just keep wimping out. Chatted to Jan once she'd finished her karate lesson, but decided another quite night in with Harry Potter was what I needed tonight (la coupe de feu, not the latest one). And besides, I'm hoping August will have time for a coffee at some point at least, and I miss him enough that I don't want to miss out on that even, and I am seeing Jan for dinner after class tomorrow anyway. Rjk's out to dinner with meirion, hope they have a good time.
Will have to see about dinner with August another time. I know Richard would rather I didn't, but there has to be a compromise somewhere between what makes him unhappy and what makes me unhappy. I wish it didn't have to be that way. Was poking through Andrew's old photos (I like the webpages by the way, it's a nice system) and came across this one from the beerfest, showing us all looking happy, and I so wish I could have that back. Maybe in time.
Definitely gold star and a cup of tea to Jan today for being so nice to me though. I don't feel like I deserve it, and it really does help.
Popped into Paul's office to say hi and grumble about the weather and somehow stayed and gossipped for over an hour. How did that happen? I mean it's not 20 years but still, sometimes these things creep up on you. Was a nice chat anyway, and cheered me up more. Still boggling at meirion's job news. Keep meaning to give him a hug, but being too shy to do so in person, so erm *hugs*. Feel free to come and collect at some point or I'll just keep wimping out. Chatted to Jan once she'd finished her karate lesson, but decided another quite night in with Harry Potter was what I needed tonight (la coupe de feu, not the latest one). And besides, I'm hoping August will have time for a coffee at some point at least, and I miss him enough that I don't want to miss out on that even, and I am seeing Jan for dinner after class tomorrow anyway. Rjk's out to dinner with meirion, hope they have a good time.
Will have to see about dinner with August another time. I know Richard would rather I didn't, but there has to be a compromise somewhere between what makes him unhappy and what makes me unhappy. I wish it didn't have to be that way. Was poking through Andrew's old photos (I like the webpages by the way, it's a nice system) and came across this one from the beerfest, showing us all looking happy, and I so wish I could have that back. Maybe in time.
Definitely gold star and a cup of tea to Jan today for being so nice to me though. I don't feel like I deserve it, and it really does help.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-02 01:28 pm (UTC)Shush, of course you deserve it. *kiss* I only wish I could make things better all the time, I seem to always make them worse first. :-(
Thank you for talking, too -- it helped me too, helps just to say things out loud (well, on /msg :-) sometimes even if there aren't any easy answers. Or any answers at all. <sigh>
no subject
Date: 2003-07-02 03:08 pm (UTC)Should have just invited you over instead, since it seems the hope of a coffee was over optimistic. Oh well, 5 minutes talk by phone better than nothing. And a pleasant evening mostly. Blondie on the stereo turned up loud and I'm a good 100 pages into the Potter now.
Just wish people would be more careful about arranging things for when they're *actually* free, though I can hardly talk, having stood up Mobbsy for lunch yesterday.
I'm glad it helped.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-02 03:16 pm (UTC)The problem with that is trying to predict the future, and what might happen... I was free when the arrangement was made.
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Date: 2003-07-03 12:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-02 04:16 pm (UTC)<sigh> Ah well. Will see you tomorrow anyway, & glad you had fun with Blondie and Harry Potter (oo-er). ... I thought I'd get lots of stuff done while
Just wish people would be more careful about arranging things for when they're *actually* free
I got the impression from email etc. that it was work suddenly coming down on him & telling him off for not working enough, & demanding results now-if-not-sooner. Which is probably not something you can predict. Though, um, if you've been slacking for weeks I guess you can predict that it's going to come sooner or later (she said, nervously, knowing she's been slacking a lot lately).
Probably about the worst possible time for it to happen though. :-(
I'm glad it helped.
It did. It does. You're lovely to me. *hugs*