Weekend summary

[lnr]

Friday
Left work a little early and headed over to the station in the rain to meet Jan. Discovered we could apparently do all our travelling on one return ticket to Keighley provided we got the version that let us travel "through" London, though it wasn't cheap. Still better than a bunch of singles would have been. Trains ran smoothly and we made it to Keighley in time for a pleasant evening in our hotel room.

Saturday
Got up too early and with not enough sleep and spent the day at the studio taking photos. Was surprised to find Jan was more nervous about the whole thing than me in the end: I'd expected it to be the other way round. Was pretty pleased with the results, have a CD of pics and more to come when the B&W film is processed. Headed back on the train towards London for an evening of clubbing with friends Followed by crashing at Marna's at about 4:30am.

Sunday
Woke up far too early and improved hangovers by some time going ugg with cats followed by breakfast in Camden and then shopping, with addition of extras from Cambridge who hadn't fancied the previous night's events. Boots, corset, top for me, tshirt for rjk, spent *far* too much money but had loads of fun doing it. Back to Cambridge for pizza at Sion and Jan's and then home moderately early for bed.

Just had another look through the CD of photos, and I have to say some of them have come out really well, and are just as lovely as I'd thought. In other cases I've been surprised both ways: many of the ones of Jan that she didn't like much and we skipped straight past are stunning, and quite a lot of the ones of both of us would really be rather better if I were another couple of stone lighter, which is a depressing thought.

Wibbles
The one bad thing about the whole weekend has been how down on herself Jan is feeling and having to see her feeling miserable but not being able to do anything to help, and feeling like I kept making things worse. I was slightly apprehensive about spending the evening with her and August because I know what I'm like and was worried I'd be jealous to see them together. In practice it seemed to be almost the opposite. In a way it's nice to know that I *can* be happy to know that he loves her, because until Saturday he hadn't said as much but it was becoming obvious and I thought it was going to hurt like hell. I'd be happier still if she believed it. I just want to see her happy. Happy when she's with me, and happy when she's with other people too. *kiss* I love you!

Comments

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

would really be rather better if I were another couple of stone lighter
Are you aiming for "invisible"? You look great now, and I can't imagine what the loss of another couple of stone would do to you! Seriously.

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

I'd be happier still if she believed it. I just want to see her happy. Happy when she's with me, and happy when she's with other people too. *kiss* I love you!

Can I just say that I could happily repeat, and mean, every word of this?

[songster.livejournal.com]

I can certainly sympathise with the "why won't this person understand X loves him/her" feeling, though not in a poly situation. I don't think there's much you can other than be there and be reassuring, which you seem to be doing a good job of.

Oh, and for Christ's sake don't either of you lose any more weight, you both look fecking fantastic. Can't stand skeletons. I believe you when you say the photos you weren't so sure about turned out best, and the ones that *felt* good didn't look so good. I suspect that's often the case, which I guess is a shame. A large part of that is because beauty (as seen in the flesh) is much more to do with muscle tensions, movement, bearing, grace etc., which is lost in a 2D static picture in favour of less evanescent qualities. Also, I suppose there's the factor that you can't "connect" with the photo if you're lost in each other, though that's definitely not always the case.

I'd ask to see the photos if that wouldn't be (a) incredibly forward and (b) kinda weird, given I know you both vaguely/quite well but not intimately. At least, if I'm reading the genre of photo right. If they're ordinary studio/makeover photos, please ignore and/or forgive me as required.

[lnr]

You're reading it right, I'll let you know if there's any I don't mind you seeing. For now they're pretty private though. I know what you mean about a bit weird though :-)

[j4.livejournal.com]

many of the ones of Jan that she didn't like much and we skipped straight past are stunning,

Well, clearly the professional photographers didn't think so. And I did notice how you kept trying to get them to say that some of the photos of me were nice, & I was touched, but really it was a bit of a lost cause!

and quite a lot of the ones of both of us would really be rather better if I were another couple of stone lighter,

Again, they clearly didn't think so. They described pretty much every single photo of you as "stunning", & they're right.

If you want to lose the weight then I guess that's your choice but I can't help worrying that Slimming World is just making you feel that you have to keep on losing weight forever. :-(

[lnr]

I wasn't just saying it to make you feel better. And I wish I could make you believe that too. You look absolutely fabulous in loads of those photos. If you'd been feeling more confident I think they'd be even better still, because people never look their best when they're feeling fat and ugly. And I know telling you you're not doesn't help, but I hope you can start to feel it again soon love.

As I say to Linz though I don't think I *do* want to lose weight, but it's certainly not going to SW that would be the thing that made me feel I had to! I think some of the models out there probably are actually underweight to be honest, and that's the only reason they can bend in certain ways without looking bulgy. Definitely not what I'm after! I'll stick to the poses that do look good on me, rather than trying to change myself to fit the ones that don't.

[j4.livejournal.com]

You look absolutely fabulous in loads of those photos.

That's sweet, and it might even work if I hadn't seen the photos. But I saw what I looked like in them.

If you'd been feeling more confident I think they'd be even better still

The way they kept looking pityingly at me wasn't helping with the confidence.

You do realise they only took photos of me at all because I was there, don't you? If they'd had a borrowed girl in the dressing-up box as well as all the borrowed clothes, they'd have used her as a prop for you instead.

[ewx.livejournal.com]

You might think I'm biased, or just saying this to try to cheer you up, or something, but I really do honestly think you did look great in those photos.

[k425.livejournal.com]

Well, clearly the professional photographers didn't think so.

Then they aren't very professional or aren't very good. If a professional photographer is any good at all they can make a pig's ear look like a silk purse and you aren't exactly a pig's ear! Just because they were taken with LNR doesn't mean you didn't look good.

Now I /really/ want to see these pics!

[k425.livejournal.com]

You do not need to lose any more weight.
Admittedly I haven't seen the pics, but from what I've seen of you, grrl, you do not need to lose a couple of stone. Hell, you'd be lighter than me and I'm not exactly fat and I'm shorter than you!

[lnr]

It's hard to explain, I don't think I *do* want to lose any more weight really (other than the 7 lbs I put back on), I just think that some of the poses we were in would definitely have worked better on someone skinnier than me. Others it was good to be voluptuous. Others still it would have been enough just to have been wearing borrowed underwear that fit, rather than being nearly 2 sizes too small and hence making me look chubbier by being too tight.

I might post a link to show what I mean at some point, but it wouldn't be appropriate from the office even if I had the pics with me.

[k425.livejournal.com]

I don't think I *do* want to lose any more weight really

Good. Half a stone here or there, perhaps, that's one of those personal target things and you know you can do that one.

some of the poses we were in would definitely have worked better on someone skinnier than me

Then the problem is the poses, not the model!

Others it was good to be voluptuous.

It's always good to be voluptuous. Says the woman who's only just developed a bouncy chest.

Others still it would have been enough just to have been wearing borrowed underwear that fit

Borrowed underwear? Go shopping, grrl! Get your own, new, sexy stuff!

[lnr]

Borrowed underwear? Go shopping, grrl! Get your own, new, sexy stuff!

Borrowed because I'd only brought the one pretty set along myself, and we were making do with what was in the dressing-up box, so to speak. I should have thought to bring lots of different things to wear, but it hadn't really occurred to me.

[k425.livejournal.com]

I knew there was something else. If you do post a link to the pics I'll have to remember not to look at work. Or at home where Rapunzel can see.

[lnr]

*giggle* You don't trust him with them?

I certainly won't be posting all of them, or even all of the ones with just me, anywhere. Some of them might make an appearance somewhere at some point. So far the only person I've shown any of them to is Richard. He seemed to like lots of them though. And would probably agree with me that a few of them were very unflattering of me.

Re: Aye

[k425.livejournal.com]

Hah, I don't think I'm up to the competition, grrl. I'm getting fat!