Anniversaries

[lnr]

Richard and I have always found it slightly odd trying to count how long we've been going out. We used to basically use two dates to work from: the date when we started seeing each other and the date when we started seeing *just* each other (or rather when we first actually spent time together after deciding that). We're coming up to the latter of those now, and it's 5 years ago this year. But I'm going to have to start thinking about it differently I guess since we're *not* seeing just each other any more. In some ways that seems really sad. In others this anniversary still means more to me than the other. I guess in the awful terminology of polyamory it's when we first became primaries, but I don't want to think about it like that really.

Still, 5 years eh, not bad going at all.

Comments

[daneel-olivaw.livejournal.com]

Still, 5 years eh, not bad going at all.

Very good going indeed! Could you just celebrate *being together* on a particular date, rather than it being "the anniversary of X"? It's a neat trick, but try and enjoy the moment for the moment (and its importance to you), rather than its specific temporal significance.

*hug*

[addedentry.livejournal.com]

Congratulations, LNR.

Could you just celebrate *being together* on a particular date?

That's a healthy view. wimborne and I were happy enough being together in January that we both forgot our [6th] anniversary...

[naranek.livejournal.com]

Congratulations! Happy anniversary! :-).

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

Happy anniversary, and many happy returns of it too :)

(I have to say, my inner therapy junkie is very curious about whether you feel fundamentally more comfortable counting your relationship as 'real' starting from the point at which it became exclusive, or whether you're very used to counting it from that point and it feels unpleasantly weird for it not to be a landmark any more. But I'm not expecting you to answer that at all since I know it's just me being nosy!)

[lnr]

It's just very much the case that previously it had been a very light-hearted thing among many, then we split up, and then it was just the two of us. So the point at which it became serious and the point at which it became exclusive happened to coincide, and I'm used to thinking of it like that. So it's still a landmark, just in a slightly different light.