For me, I just hate the way my face always looks in photos. I'm not exactly keen on the way the rest of me looks either, but my face is the worst part. Flash shows up all the awkward angles, all the imperfections and blemishes, all the shadows and aging, and reminds me horribly of my own mortality, I suppose.
(Gosh, that was melodramatic, even by LJ standards, wasn't it? I may be getting the hang of this teenage angst thing...)
I'm going to get something nice
Yes, I can understand that last part. My sex life, though, such as it ever was, has been completely dead for the last three years and seems really rather likely to stay that way for the foreseeable future. I suppose it's all part of a vicious circle: my self-esteem is pretty minimal, and my self-image is so awful that I can't imagine anyone ever being attracted, and that feeds straight back into my image of myself. Seeing as the one person I've ever had a relationship with really doesn't want to see me naked any more, it's not wholly unfounded, although I'm aware I'm probably harsher on myself than most people would be. And I've always been fairly prudish about other people seeing me anyway, I suppose: that's probably at least in part from growing up at boarding school with people I hated.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-12-31 06:20 pm (UTC)For me, I just hate the way my face always looks in photos. I'm not exactly keen on the way the rest of me looks either, but my face is the worst part. Flash shows up all the awkward angles, all the imperfections and blemishes, all the shadows and aging, and reminds me horribly of my own mortality, I suppose.
(Gosh, that was melodramatic, even by LJ standards, wasn't it? I may be getting the hang of this teenage angst thing...)
I'm going to get something nice
Yes, I can understand that last part. My sex life, though, such as it ever was, has been completely dead for the last three years and seems really rather likely to stay that way for the foreseeable future. I suppose it's all part of a vicious circle: my self-esteem is pretty minimal, and my self-image is so awful that I can't imagine anyone ever being attracted, and that feeds straight back into my image of myself. Seeing as the one person I've ever had a relationship with really doesn't want to see me naked any more, it's not wholly unfounded, although I'm aware I'm probably harsher on myself than most people would be. And I've always been fairly prudish about other people seeing me anyway, I suppose: that's probably at least in part from growing up at boarding school with people I hated.