Rambles

My brain is feeling awfully disconnected from reality today, I think it's just through not getting enough sleep.

Not the best state for having a driving lesson in really, but it went more or less OK. Next one is on Monday. Would be nice to actually remember it for a change, rather than having Alan have to ring the office to try and find me. Beginning to wonder again if I will be anywhere near a good enough standard by the test though, perhaps I shouldn't have gone so long without lessons between times.

Nice evening last night, lovely dinner, nice game of scrabble, and then slightly awkwardly to bed. Odd to feel so nervous about it. I have been wondering where I fit into the picture lately, and I at least came away reassured that there's a space for me somewhere, even if I'm not quite sure what it is. And it all seems to pointless to get fretty about things when I can tell it's all in my head, and there's nothing I actually want to change in the way people are behaving, just want to change how I react to it sometimes. I think just time will sort it out.

Home far too late, and then stayed up even later with rjk, so it's entirely my own fault I'm tired. And no doubt I shall make it worse by staying up late again tonight. It's worth it though.

Mmmmbeeeerrrrrrrrr

Strange day. Work much as usual. Bounced mail about with people until I was feeling somewhat better than I had been, with a slight interruption at lunchtime for a driving lesson I'd completely forgotten about. It didn't go *too* badly, but I really do feel like I need a lot of work, and there seems no way I'm going to get it in before the test. Already too late to get my money back if I cancel, so I may as well just got for it and do my best.

Richard seemed fed up on irc all day, though I mostly put it down to his being full of cold and bored of being at home alone. I wish I could help more, I love him lots and hate to see him down. I wish he felt more like he could talk to me about why sometimes though.

Jan round for dinner which was nice, and she brought me presents too which she shouldn't have! You're lovely sweetheart. And then a slightly late bus into town for the beer festival. A very nice half of Ventner's Oyster Stout, with real oysters apparently. And an even better half of Timothy Taylor's Porter. Now that is seriously nice beer. And a pork pie. Yum. Richard came down to join us but arrived after they'd stopped letting people in, so I dashed off to walk home with him instead of drinking any more. Nice to bump into various people, especially those I'd not seen in a while like Steven Kitson, Mike Pitt, etc. Sorry to see Colin Batchelor terrifying Diana with his unusual methods of being friendly. He is an odd chap but we do love him really.

Earlier bed than expected tonight I guess, but it'll probably do me good, especially with an early meeting tomorrow. Hopefully rjk will be feeling enough better to still want to come along to Oxford with us. I'm very unsure at all if I want to go without him, though I'd hate to let Jan down too and I was really looking forward to it.