Well don't do that then

[lnr]

Hurts. Went to pub, quite late having had nice evening with rjk and nice wine with dinner. Had pint of hoegaarden, which was lovely, even if it does feel like drinking out of a vase. Spent too much money on the quiz machine, but had great fun being useless at spot the difference. Gave Jan a greta big hug goodbye, as everyone headed off to Relativity for coffee. Which was cool. And then cried all the way home. Still crying. How can I mean so little to him? Why does it still hurt so much. Please, I just want it to go away,

Comments

[glitterboy1.livejournal.com]

*hugs* In fact, *big green hugs* ;-)

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

How can I mean so little to him?

You don't mean so little.

[duncanneko.livejournal.com]

*many many comforting and soothing nekohugs*

[j4.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

Believe me, you do mean a lot to him. But it looks from here like you both find it hard sometimes to show how much you mean to each other in a way that won't hurt anybody. If you see what I mean. Not that that makes it any easier, I know. :-(

*morehugs*

[lnr]

*nods* I know, and it's stupid to feel that way maybe, but it catches up with me sometimes. I just don't know what to do though.

[j4.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's stupid to feel that way. And I know it's not really my place to say so but I do think he could do more to show you that he does still care. Though I suspect he's worried that he'll just make things worse (or at least I know I would be if I was in his position). Of course the obvious solution is to talk to him & work out what will/won't make things worse... but I know that's probably impossible at the moment.

I just don't know what to do though.

I don't really know what to suggest. I do wish I could somehow make it possible for you to spend more time with him, just giving you a chance to talk to him; seeing someone so rarely when you miss them so much means that you never really have a chance to get used to the hurt.

Mind you I still can't help feeling like I'm part of the problem, whether because I monopolise his attention in social gatherings (or at least I worry that I do) or just because I'm there at all, or, oh, I don't know. :-(

[lnr]

Talk> yeah, I think it is pretty much impossible to talk at the moment. In person time alone together is right out, and email doesn't seem to be the answer. To be honest maybe the drifting apart through inability to cope *is* the best thing, since there's no good at all I can see can come of us both loving each other. But that's a horribly sad thing to say, and even when I think it's true I don't want it to be.

I wish I could definitely convince you properly that you're not part of the problem. I hope what I said this afternoon helped. Whatever else is happening you two being together is a *good* thing as far as I'm concerned. *hugs*