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Contrasts
Funny to contrast feeling absolutely wrecked after the gig last night with the feeling of utter jubilation from enjoying the crowd and the music. I shouted myself hoarse, drank too much beer and spilled lots of it too, got squashed to death in the front of the crowd crammed against the barrier having a whale of a time, and barely centimetres from the band. And it felt like they played non-stop solid hits to sing along to as loud as you can and grin at the other people near by in the crowd and let your hair down and mosh a bit too. Mobbsy got a mouthful of my hair at one point, which was only fair as I was still disentagling myself from bits of his at 1am. And I even broke my glasses again but managed to get the nice security bloke to look after them and didn't even lose the screw. And only got hit on the head by one of the crowd surfers. How can you not feel buzzed after that? But at the same time I was rather hoarse, perhaps the start of Mike's cold, and shattered beyond belief.
Then a drink in Frankie and Benny's (mmmmMargheritas) before staggering home in a taxi. For another contrast of culture clash proportions, which was a bit of a shame.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif)
kaet summed it up quite well. I just wish people hadn't had to end up upset. And I'm not looking forward to trying to mediate as Ian and Mike hammer out just what needs apologising for from whom. I guess I'm sorry I didn't see it getting awkward sooner and say something stronger to calm it down. Ah well. We did have a nice chat with Dan mostly about computer games. And actually quite a good long chat with Rick about what was actually the problem, though I'm not sure he agreed. And then to bed, with a headache of gargantuan proportions, but at least I didn't feel too rough when I woke up. Just time to bump start the van down the road before heading off to work. Extremely silly!
It's horrible having to tell one group of friends they can't be themselves around another group, and vice versa, or to have to try and justify their behaviour to each other afterwards and know that neither understands what the other is so annoyed by. Perhaps it would have been wiser to try and tell the friends to be careful in advance, rather than hoping it would work out.
Then a drink in Frankie and Benny's (mmmmMargheritas) before staggering home in a taxi. For another contrast of culture clash proportions, which was a bit of a shame.
kaet summed it up quite well. I just wish people hadn't had to end up upset. And I'm not looking forward to trying to mediate as Ian and Mike hammer out just what needs apologising for from whom. I guess I'm sorry I didn't see it getting awkward sooner and say something stronger to calm it down. Ah well. We did have a nice chat with Dan mostly about computer games. And actually quite a good long chat with Rick about what was actually the problem, though I'm not sure he agreed. And then to bed, with a headache of gargantuan proportions, but at least I didn't feel too rough when I woke up. Just time to bump start the van down the road before heading off to work. Extremely silly!It's horrible having to tell one group of friends they can't be themselves around another group, and vice versa, or to have to try and justify their behaviour to each other afterwards and know that neither understands what the other is so annoyed by. Perhaps it would have been wiser to try and tell the friends to be careful in advance, rather than hoping it would work out.
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So refuse to mediate. Tell them they're both adults who can/should sort out their own problems. Even if they're people you care about, it's not your responsibility to fix problems for them.
I guess I'm sorry I didn't see it getting awkward sooner and say something stronger to calm it down.
*nods* - been there, done that countless times. It happens, and the more often it happens the more one learns when one should intervene. On the other hand, everyone else involved was an adult and ought to have been capable of not letting it get that awkward/sorting it out when it did without your intervention.
It's horrible having to tell one group of friends they can't be themselves around another group, and vice versa, or to have to try and justify their behaviour to each other afterwards and know that neither understands what the other is so annoyed by. Perhaps it would have been wiser to try and tell the friends to be careful in advance, rather than hoping it would work out.
Yeah, sometimes warning people to be careful in advance works. Other tactics I find helpful are sitting next to the person likely to be the biggest trouble maker and having 'neutral' topics of conversation up my sleeve so I can inject a change of subject when necessary.
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Um, I won't be asked to, I want to, because I think if I don't then they won't fix things and one or the other will be unhappy with the outcome. And I want them both to be happy. And I think there are things that they each wouldn't think to mention to the other, which might be better known by both.
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You've just reminded me why I need to go to more gigs though :)
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The gig *was* good though. Manics tonight, the Tears next Monday, Alabama 3 in May, then Glasto and Reading later in the year, and who knows what else. Going to be hard to beat last night though.
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Ah, so can you clear up the mystery of what the van was doing there? It perplexed the early part of post-pizza, and all Ian could tell us was that it was something to do with Mike but he wasn't sure what :-)
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The bunch in the house when we arrived we mostly ex-Cambridge geeks, having a regular Monday post-pizza gathering consisting of port and conversation. The bunch who arrived and made themselves unwelcome were loud, a bit drunk and boisterous, just in from a rock gig and up for a laugh.
The latter were annoying in a way which I think left Ian fearing for his furniture, as well as drowning out the previous conversation. So most of the former got up without saying anything and left the room, in what appears to me to have been an attempt to get out of the situation without saying anything unpleasant. This was seen as fairly rude by the latter since it was accompanied by rather frosty looks. A later polite request for a spare chair from the kitchen was met with a pointed "No" despite a chair being available, which left them feeling angry at having been treated rudely.
From then on it stayed mostly in two groups, but Ian made it clear he'd rather Mike didn't invite Rick and Craig around again, and Mike spent most of the remaining part of the evening feeling worried and stressed. And I remained the only one of the rowdy lot who actually felt comfortable enough going into the kitchen to fetch a glass of water.
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Yes, I had a nasty feeling that would be part of the complaint :-/ In fact I think
(I also feared they might take particular offence given that there was visibly a chair in the kitchen that we weren't sitting on - but, of course, it was the broken one.)
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My own opinion is a sort of middle ground; I do find the gentleman in question a bit of a PITA and he has no respect for other people's property full stop as far as I can tell, but then I also think that the former of the two cultures could do with loosening up a bit in many ways - it certainly took me a long time to adjust to the rather unique set of values they have, and I prefer not to live entirely in that group as I find the whole ethos somewhat stifling at times. If I was facing Mr Boisterous turning up to another party I was throwing, I'd be explaining in very small words exactly what my definition of good behaviour was before I let him in..
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