GP

[lnr]

So following on from my post last week I took a self-assessment test on the NHS webpages, and scored somewhere between 10 and 15, most likely around 13 - indicating that it's likely I'm suffering from moderate depression. Anyway I went to see my GP today (well I say my GP - I'm not sure I've actually seen Dr Rann before, but she seems nice and coped calmly with me sobbing at her :). After explaining how I felt she asked what I was hoping to get from the appointment, to which I said at least partly just to get someone to agree I wasn't just imagining it. But eventually I left with:

- A prescription for a low starting dose of sertraline (anti-depressant)
- A sheet with some online resources for DIY CBT to try
- An appointment for 3 weeks time to see how I'm getting on, and if the CBT seems helpful to refer me for a course

She also suggests I see if the university counselling service can offer any help too, and really thinks 2 years of sleep deprivation is probably a big issue and suggests we need to do something about the night wakings. I'm not prepared to give up breast feeding (which she didn't suggest but equally didn't sound terribly supportive of) but we can try cut down how often we offer milk at night and see if he wakes less as a result - it may not make much difference though, as he was down to just one wake most nights before he was full of cold, so I think it's more than just wanting milk.

Anyway I felt a bit better for going, but a bit wobbly at the same time.

And I feel like the Pensions Officers meeting in London today was well worth attending and hopefully having written a brief report on it for our action committee and exec on the way home on the train has been really useful too, so a positive day overall.

Comments

[sphyg.livejournal.com]

This is Dan, not sphyg.

I just thought I'd drop in to say that I've had a good experience with low-dose Sertraline. I just thought I'd say because if you look on the internet it's all doom and gloom whatever thing you look up!

All the best for turning the corner soon.

[lnr]

Thanks, nice to get a personal recommendation :)

[ms-cataclysm.livejournal.com]

Two years sleep deprivation is pretty devastating . Much sympathy.

[lnr]

It's odd but a lot of the time it's not been an issue, and it's now only when he gets worse again after periods of being better that we really notice it. Hormones no longer being as protective as they were when he was little maybe (plus more other stressors).

[lizardc.livejournal.com]

I find it quite scary that so many health professionals seem anti extended breast feeding, especially given WHO guidelines!

But if you do want to night wean, but carry on during the day, a couple of good resources I've heard of are:

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

'Nursies when the Sun Shines' (a book, you can find it on Amazon but it keeps deleting my post when I try to link).

Also, there's a FB group called 'Gentle Parenting International', or there is a UK one too. Lots of support for extended breast feeding, plus understanding of the difficulties of night waking a etc,

Hope you are ok and the stuff from the GP helps...

[lnr]

Restricting milk to literally when the sun is up would seem a bit harsh at this time of year :) I presume the book is a bit more subtle than that of course.

I've seen the Jay Gordon method and considered it - but actually these days daddy does already go in to settle Matthew some of the time anyway, without getting him out of the cot even, so we've just had a chat and formulated a Plan - if he wakes before 11 or after 6 I'll go and offer milk - otherwise Matthew will go in and we'll only resort to milk if he's getting very upset. We'll see how it goes for a while.

I'm a member of an extended breastfeeding group on Facebook which is rather nice for not feeling weird about it (and knowing several other mums who still feed their toddlers helps too - but I did get the impression the GP thought it a bit eccentric rather than being actively aware of the benefits and keen to support those who wish to continue (I 100% understand those who don't though!)

Thanks for the links, I appreciate the thought even where I was already aware of them :)

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

He's a decent age for cutting down night feeds with little hassle, so that might be a decent option for you to get more sleep (i.e if he wakes don't be the one who goes to him for a while; if he really still wants milk you will be told!). Sleep deprivation is hellish for exacerbating depression, BTDT. Much sympathy.

[lnr]

Thanks - reassuring - and the approach we're likely to settle on - see above.

[ceb.livejournal.com]

*hug*

Good luck with improving, and I'm glad you've spotted the problem and are getting some support.

[lnr]

Thanks - I found them less useful myself in 2004ish, but things are rather less complicated now in many ways, which might make it more helpful.

[lnr]

Thanks

[fanf]

I have found the Counselling Service moderately helpful, and stunningly better than NHS counselling.

[susan smith (from livejournal.com)]

Ok here are my words of wisdom please feel free to totally ignore me.

Being a Parent is the hardest job in the world. Being a good parent is even harder and being a good working parent in utterly impossible if you are not super human. Dont expect to be able to pull it all off, you cant something has to give. Personally I gave up unnecessary housework including ironing !!!!

There are times when I need a little help and have over the years for a few periods had a little bit of help from my friends the anti depressants, having one of those periods at the moment and have to say that thanks to my friend Prozac I am feeling much better able to cope and in fact almost human instead of a wobbly jelly.

Sleep deprivation is the pits, there in nothing worse in just grinds you down. Now for the hard bit. I gave in to tough love in the end, sitting on the top of the stairs listening to Gethin Cry, crying myself..... I would leave longer and longer periods between going in to him and would just talk to him calmly untill he settled and then leave again without picking him up. I had to give up breast feeding quite early as he needed prescription milk but as part of the sleep pattern breaking I had to stop the milk and replace it with water. It seems harsh but it worked for me and I could finally sleep in a bed again ( I was sleeping on his bedroom floor to scared to move most nights) and all this whilst working full time. Within a week he was sleeping but that week was hell !!!!

Councilling is good but only if you are honest with yourself. Chin Up you are doing a great job considering your world has just been turned upside down.

[lnr]

Thankfully it looks like he's sleeping rather better again - just one wake up most nights, sometimes early and sometimes late, but settling quickly if daddy goes in instead of me for the late ones (which is great).

We don't iron anyway ;)

Thanks for your kind words.

[glittertigger]

Glad the GP was mostly good. Hope you start to feel a bit better soon.

[lnr]

Thanks!

[emperor]

*hugs*

Hurrah for doing pro-active Union stuff. I'm a bit dis-spirited about UCU ATM, so I'm cheered when someone sensible is doing useful stuff :)

Are you at liberty to share the online resources?

[lnr]

I'm glad the union stuff is appreciated (and I've been getting some good feedback for that too, which does help).

The links are:

http://www.bemindful.co.uk/
https://www.llttf.com/
http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

I've signed up to the middle one but got no further.

They also recommended a couple of free apps which seem to be related to meditation and which I downloaded, looked at, and shuddered and removed them again.

Relax and Sleep Well, Glenn Harrold and Pranayama universal breathing, Saagara.

[sphyg.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a useful GP. I'm thankful that E is usually a good sleeper once he's actually in bed. I've been feeling more tearful/stressed lately so might try the self-assessment thingy. He's still breastfeeding a couple of times a day - it seems too stressful to try and stop.

[lnr]

*hugs* Hope you're feeling a bit better too! It would definitely be *far* too stressful to say no to milk during the day - though thankfully he's taken very well indeed to daddy going in instead of mummy at night (we were doing that for repeated wakes anyway so he was at least familiar with it).

[beckyc.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that things are tough at the moment (lack of sleep does put your body through so much :-(.) but I'm glad that you've got A Plan (and a cunning one from the sound of things) for getting to a better place. *Hugs* if you want them.

[lnr]

Thank you!

[pippaalice.livejournal.com]

Hello, I'm sorry you're going through this but it is good your GP is acting fast. I hope you feel much better soon. I know how rubbish this all is. xxxxx

[lnr]

Cheers! Very much appreciated.

[jane-somebody.livejournal.com]

I'm late to this as usual, and sorry to hear you've been hit with depression, but what you say in this post all seems sensible and positive. Just for some anecdata, I've been on sertraline since getting hit with PND after Fro was born, so a bit over 6 years ago now. I have been on it previously too, and when considering issues of pregnancy/breast-feeding and antidepressants I consulted a research expert in Oxford who said that sertraline is the drug of choice to combine with breastfeeding. I breastfed Fro until he was just over 5 (at the end of Reception Year at school.) Past babyhood, Fro would wake and want to feed at night irregularly, so it was difficult to get round to trying to establish a sleep-routine. But previously with El, I night-weaned him at just before two when I realised his regular once-a-night wake to feed was largely just habit, and a week of Skordh going in to settle him and offering water was all it took for him to start sleeping through (both were at least technically in their own beds/rooms by that age, though we did a lot more co-sleeping with Fro than we had done with El; I don't know that it would have worked so well if I was right there and accessible.). I.e. - every child is different, obviously, but night-weaning seems generally worth a try at his age.

[jane-somebody.livejournal.com]

Oh, I remember I was going to add that pre-children the effective dose of sertraline I needed was 100mg/day, but after getting pregnant the first time managed to cut down to 50mg/day and have been happily stable on that this last go round. I intend to attempt gradually going off it once spring comes round again - I was going to try last spring but then El's Asperger's diagnosis came through and there was stuff with school so it didn't seem like a good time to mess with the status quo - but if I can't and need to remain on it indefinitely that wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen.

[lnr]

Yeah, agreed entirely on that front.

[lnr]

Thanks for the kind words (and the shared experience).

Matthew seems to have taken very well to the semi-night-weaning - I'll still go in if he wakes before 11 but daddy's going if he wakes later, and the wake-ups have reduced back down to only one or two a night (and we had another sleep through one night this week too!). It's possible they would have done anyway, but actually he goes back to sleep much more quickly when daddy goes in which is nice (and I get to stay in bed too!)

It's definitely completely random though - some nights he'll wake once before 11, others he'll stir a little a few times and only wake at 5 say. And he doesn't even have a regular wake-up time in the morning - any time between 6:30 and 8 this last week! We're definitely still going to be feeding during the day though.

We gave up on the co-sleeping at 7 months as it was keeping us both awake, and he's been in his own cot since then, with bedtime gradually getting easier with time.

[aiwendel.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear you've been struggling, and glad to hear in recent entries that things are looking brighter. I hope things keep improving. *hugs*