I must be feeling better

[lnr]

My brain seems to be working again. Though not in a terribly useful way. I feel hopeless and useless and like everything wrong with my life is pretty easily attributable to my own laziness and cowardice and self-interest. That it has been for years. And I can't see a way out. My job, my degree (and the previous versions of both), my weight, my finances. They could all be fine if I wasn't so lazy about all of them. And I know it's partly depression, but the depression isn't what got me here in the first place, even if it's what stops me getting out.

Should I just quit my job? Or out and out tell them to get a move on and fire me? I need the money really, and I don't see what other job I could get that would pay as well but wouldn't be at least as bad in terms of me getting anything done. I hate it. I hate being a complete failure.

Comments

[glitterboy1.livejournal.com]

Not really sure what to say in a public place. But maybe we could talk? And before you even *think* of doing anything like quitting!

No, I don't think you should quit, and I don't think you should tell them to fire you. Hmm, sorry, that's not meant to tell you what to do! But please don't do anything like that without us having talked it through. If you're in tomorrow, maybe we can go out for a while? If you're not, but are up to coming into town, we could meet up for lunch?

Oh, and if you call yourself the f* word again, I'll thkweam and I'll thkweam... You're not, and, for what it's worth, I don't think you're lazy, either. So there.

Love, gb