They can be. If nothing else they can bring eveything out into the open so that there is less chance of misinterpretations later on.... so hopefully problems occuring because of incorrect assumptions (i.e. "But I thought you wouldn't mind!") have less of a chance to happen.
The agreement E-J (my wife) and I have is relatively simple. Its not something which we spent hours and hours thrashing out, more something we came up with when we moved our relationship to being an open one. Its also slowly evolved over time, as these things do.
E-J and I are primary partners. Whilst other partners may come and go over time, we want to be together for the rest of our lives; this is main reason we got married
E-J and I are fluid bonded so that we'll only use condoms if we need to. However with other partners the use of condoms is always required
You can snog someone without checking with your partner first, however you have to then tell your partner that you snogged that person. In my case I can also do normal massage without asking E-J first as well; we both know that me having to ask permission before I'd massage people would be painful as I'm such a massage slut. However most of the time I'll just massage people through their clothing so its less of an issue than it would appear to be on the surface.
Anything more than a snog requires the permission of your partner. It should be noted that this is the veto I recently relinquished over E-J as I trust her judgement. However if stuff does happen then naturally we'll still talk about it afterwards.
Communication is important - so if you're not happy with a relationship your partner is in then you should tell them when you start to have issues with it
Our bedroom is a place only for E-J and myself. So play with other partners has to occur elsewhere.
Hmmmm - those seem quite complex on reading them. However a lot of them would be common curtsey and good communication to me, so day-to-day its not a problem to follow the above.
The agreement above is what works for E-J and I right now; it may not work for other people as EPID and there are probably more types of poly than there are poly people :)
Don't forget that there is also a good polyamory community here on LJ.
no subject
They can be. If nothing else they can bring eveything out into the open so that there is less chance of misinterpretations later on.... so hopefully problems occuring because of incorrect assumptions (i.e. "But I thought you wouldn't mind!") have less of a chance to happen.
The agreement E-J (my wife) and I have is relatively simple. Its not something which we spent hours and hours thrashing out, more something we came up with when we moved our relationship to being an open one. Its also slowly evolved over time, as these things do.
Hmmmm - those seem quite complex on reading them. However a lot of them would be common curtsey and good communication to me, so day-to-day its not a problem to follow the above.
The agreement above is what works for E-J and I right now; it may not work for other people as EPID and there are probably more types of poly than there are poly people :)
Don't forget that there is also a good![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
polyamory community here on LJ.