Stuff

[lnr]

Good things
- dinner with Ian and Clare tomorrow
- having lunch with Jan on Thursday
- elb's hen night and tatmeet at the weekend
- dinner with SGT next week
- the weather being cooler but still pretty
- The Scar - nearly halfway through now, ages since I've read anything so fast
- new computer due soon
- new telly due soon too

Bad things
- weight, especially given half the good things above
- work
- dissertation
- feeling awkward with Jan
- coming to terms with the fact that things are *over*, and the implication that I should just deal OK

And despite the fact the former list is much longer, and half of them occurred to me while I was writing this and that ought to have made me feel better right?, the bad stuff is *really* weighing on me.

Need to send a couple of cards, and a present. Keep forgetting to bring Em's address to work and don't have sensible computer at home. *Must* do something about it either tonight or tomorrow morning.

Comments

[j4.livejournal.com]

feeling awkward with Jan

Is there anything I can do to help make things less awkward between us? Anything it'd be easier if I did/didn't do/say/mention/avoid/etc.?

coming to terms with the fact that things are *over*, and the implication that I should just deal OK

People who say you should "just deal OK" are asking for a smack in the mouth. Anybody who's ever lost something they valued will know it's not that easy.

half of them occurred to me while I was writing this and that ought to have made me feel better right?

Hrm. There's no "ought" about it, IMHO: writing lists of nice fluffy things doesn't magically make the bad things go away. (I only wish it did!) Sometimes it helps, yeah, but if it doesn't then it doesn't. And it's not surprising that the bad things are weighing on you.

If there's anything I can do to help with any of the bad things, do let me know. I do still care about you lots and lots and I just wish there was something I could do to make you happier.

*hugs*

[lnr]

People who say you should "just deal OK" are asking for a smack in the mouth.

It hasn't been said, and it probably isn't even meant, but that's what it boils down to in practice. It just tends to knock you sideways when something you thought you could lean on turns out not to be able to support you after all. Not their fault if they can't really, but I can't say I'm not a bit bitter, or I'd have phrased it differently.

As for awkwardness, I think overall it's easier if you *don't* avoid saying anything, but hell there's a million things I'm not saying to you, so if there's stuff *you* don't want to talk about that's your choice. *hugs* I care lots too, and I'm sure we can work round it in time.